The Way the Cookie Crumbles
Braidon Urquides
“I gotta say, Mark, you were right with this one. Normally, I don’t even like Chinese food, but the food here was delicious!”
“I told you this place was good, Jeremy,” Mark says, letting out a loud belch.
“I don’t know guys, the food was good, but something seems off about the restaurant, don’t ya think? The way this place is decorated kinda disturbs me. There’s a bunch of creepy statues wherever you look, and I feel like they’re staring back at me when I walk by,” Ben says.
“Relax, Ben, the statues are probably just a cultural thing. It boosts the authenticity,” Jeremy calmly explains.
“I’m telling you. I saw their eyes moving” Ben says.
“It’s probably just one of those optical illusions.” Mark replies.
“Whatever. Let’s just get the check and head home,” Ben says, his eyes still darting around the dining room.
Jeremy puts on a sing-songy voice and begins to mock his friend, “Someone’s superstitious!”
“I am not. Superstition is always using the same lottery numbers because ‘they’re bound to be right eventually,’” Ben claps back.
“Think what you want, Ben, one of these days I’ll be a millionaire.” The men sat around the table making jabs at each other for some time, when suddenly it dawns on them that they are still waiting on their check.
The men stop talking and look towards the counter. At that moment, a man approaches with the check and three fortune cookies. “Perfect timing,” Jeremy says, taking the check, “I’ll get this one guys, when I’m a millionaire, expenses like this will be mere penny cash for me.”
“Gee, thanks,” Mark replies, rolling his eyes. Jeremy places the money inside the check and hands it back to the man. The men grab their fortune cookies and exit the building.
They walk out to a parking lot that is all but empty, the exception being one broken down truck that looks as if it belongs in an impound lot, Mark’s 1976 Ford. The windshield is cracked and dirty, the hood is littered with dents, and there’s a tacky set of fuzzy dice hanging around the mirror. Mark hops in the driver’s seat and Jeremy in the passenger’s seat. “You coming?” Jeremy asks.
“No thanks,” Ben replies, “that truck’s gonna break down for good one day. I’ll just call a cab.”
“Suit yourself,” Mark says, as he drives off.
Ben heads out into the dimly-lit, busy street to hail a cab. Almost as soon as he gets there, a cab pulls over by his side. Ben hops in, and the cab takes off. The cab driver turns around. He had a deformed face with a bulging, bug-like left eye. “Evenin’,” the cab driver says, “I’m Lucius.”
“Ben, charmed,” Ben replies trying to avoid eye contact with the man. Looking for a distraction, he turns to his fortune cookie. He unwraps the cookie and snaps it in half to read the fortune more clearly. “You will perish by sunset tomorrow,” he reads. He stares at the parchment for a few seconds, his eyes now more bugged out than Lucius’s. “You know what, maybe my friends were right, perhaps I am too paranoid,” he thinks to himself. “You’re home,” Lucius says. Ben continues to stare at the fortune. “Sir,” Lucius tries again, but there’s nothing still. “Sir!” Lucius yells.
Now startled, Ben jumps up in his seat, dropping his fortune and snapping back into reality. “Oh, thank you, Lucius,” Ben says as he pays his fare. “Don’t mention it,” Lucius says as Ben walks from the cab towards his front door, “Weirdo.”
Now inside his house, Ben decides not to think much of his fortune, and rather he makes his way to his bedroom to get some good rest. However, calling his rest good would be a stretch and a half. He tosses and turns all night; terrors fill his dreams as he envisions his death, time and time again. He jolts awake, huffing and puffing each time. After the third time this happens, Ben looks at his clock. It’s 3:30 a.m. He lets out an exasperated sigh, and he decides to get himself a glass of water before returning to bed. After this he, actually manages to stay asleep, although he still tosses and turns restlessly.
Ben wakes up again, and now it’s 12:30 p.m. “Dang it, I overslept,” he says groggily. He hears his phone go off, and so he picks it up. To Ben’s surprise, he has 99+ unread messages. Upon actually looking into them, he sees most of them are from Jeremy, but none provide much clarification; rather, the texts say things like “did you see the news?” “come quickly,” and “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” His interest piqued, Ben gets himself presentable, and sets off for Jeremy’s place.
Ben arrives at Jeremy’s house in record time, and he is taken aback at everything going on. There are several moving trucks around, some with boxes of furniture, some with brand new TVs, and some with fine china and glassware. “Ah Ben, glad you could make it,” Jeremy says as he walks out into his front lawn, a comically large check at his side.
“What is all this?” Ben asks, “And how on Earth could you afford any of it?!”
“Interesting story, it all started last night when Mark and I pulled into a gas station,” Jeremy began. “I was gonna buy a lottery ticket, but instead of going with my usual numbers, I figured it’d be smarter to go with the lucky numbers on the back of my fortune cookie. But get this, my lucky numbers on the cookie were the numbers I always use! What are the odds?! On top of that, my fortune was ‘trust your gut!’ I just figured that the stars aligned, and lo and behold, when they drew the numbers this morning, I won $670,000,000! First thing I did was go to the bank to upgrade my credit line, and I’ve been on a shopping spree all day!”
“I don’t believe it man, that’s incredible!” Ben replies with a noticeable quiver in his voice. “Where’s Mark? Shouldn’t he be here to see this too?”
“Oh, Mark’s seen it already, he showed up hours ago. I sent him off on a little shopping trip himself; he should be back any minute now.”
At that minute, a car horn honks at the two gentlemen, and they divert their attention to the street, where Mark is approaching the driveway; however, he isn’t in his dinky ford, rather, he’s in a brand new cherry red Mustang. “What’s up Ben?” Mark asks. “You like my new set of wheels?”
“Hell, yeah I do, but how’d you get it?” Ben asks dumbfounded. However, it doesn’t take long for him to connect the dots between the new car and his shopping spree.
“It’s a crazy story, man. Last night when Jeremy wanted to get a lotto ticket, he asked to borrow two bucks for it since he spent all his money at the Chinese place. I originally didn’t want to do it, but then my fortune said ‘you shall be compensated for your generosity one-thousandfold,’ so I figured I might as well just help a friend out,” Mark explains.
“Oh, how wonderful, both of your fortunes wound up working out,” Ben says, starting to sweat profusely.
“Hell, yeah they did man,” Mark says before honking. This honk startles one of the movers, causing them to drop a vase, shattering it.
“Aren’t you mad about that?” Ben asks.
“Nope,” Jeremy says without a second thought, “I’m rich, I’ll just replace it!”
“Yep, thanks to your…fortunes,” Ben weakly gets out. “On the subject of fortunes, Ben, what was yours?” Mark asks.
Not wanting his friends’ moods to be spoiled by his now certain death, Ben quickly thinks of a response. “I…uh, I never opened mine. I’m not superstitious enough to buy into that kind of junk. It’s just sitting on my kitchen counter.”
“Oh, well, Mark and I were about to ride around town while the movers set all that stuff up.” Jeremy replies, “if you want, we can drive you by your place to pick it up.” Ben entertains the idea in his mind, but his mind immediately wanders off to the possibility of the car exploding with them in it.
“You know what, as much as I’d love a ride, I think I’ll just head back to my place by myself, I got a busy day ahead of me.”
“Oh come on Ben,” Mark says, “live a little.”
“I’m gonna try,” Ben replies before sprinting off.
Ben returns home, out of breath, but still very much alive. “I just gotta find somewhere safe, a place I can survive until sunset.” He thinks aloud to himself. “The living room seems safe enough.” He surveys the living room; everything looks to be in order until he looks at the fan. He sees screws loose as the fan sways back and forth. “What if it falls and crushes me? Not safe enough.”
Ben runs up and down searching for somewhere safe. He considers the park, until he remembers the duck pond and how he could somehow drown inside of it. “There’s always the mall,” he thinks to himself. “Nevermind. I wouldn’t want to fall victim to a petty theft gone awry.” Ben continues to run from place to place, stopping occasionally to take a breath. Eventually, he runs into his friends driving down the road in Mark’s new car. The sun falls over the horizon, about to set. They pull over next to him, and he stops running.
“What’s up dude?” Mark asks, “You’re red in the face. You look like you just ran a marathon.”
“I feel like I might’ve,” Ben says in between pants. “According to my fortune, I’m supposed to die any second now.”
“That’s ridiculous, Ben,” Jeremy reassures him.
“Ben, Ben, Ben, always with your superstitions,” Mark adds. “Look, if it makes you feel better, we’ll wait with you here for a minute until you feel like you’re good to go.”
“You know what, yeah, I’d like that,” Ben replies.
The three men wait around each other by the car as sunset draws ever nearer. After a moment, a taxi cab pulls over on the other side of the street. Out walks Lucius, the fortune in his hand. “Excuse me sir, was this a threat?!” He asks as he gives Ben a death glare.
“What?” Ben asks puzzled as Lucius waves the fortune around.
“You know exactly what,” Lucius says with a soft voice but firm tone Lucius says with a soft voice but firm tone, and at that moment, he slams the door shut and places the fortune in his pocket.
Lucius begins trekking over to the men. In the middle of the street, a loud horn blares, Lucius diverts his attention away from the men only to see a semi-truck speeding towards him. Before he has any time to react, the truck hits Lucius with a loud thud, plastering the man all over the street. Limbs lie mangled and detached in the street, and in the center of it all is the fortune, still intact, and completely dry. The three men dart their eyes back and forth between the bloody corpse lying in the street, and back to each other. “So, you want to go on that drive now, Ben?” Mark asks, looking at Lucius and not his friend. “You know what, yeah, I’d like that,” Ben replies. Ben hops into the back of the Mustang, and Mark drives off. Most of the drive they found themselves silent. At least I’m not dead. Does that mean the fortune was wrong? Did the fortune somehow transfer to the cabby? Why couldn’t I have gotten the lotto fortune? Ben silently pondered these things to himself, the image of a dead Lucius forever imprinted into his retinas. Eventually, Jeremy broke the silence: “Anybody want Chinese?”
“I told you this place was good, Jeremy,” Mark says, letting out a loud belch.
“I don’t know guys, the food was good, but something seems off about the restaurant, don’t ya think? The way this place is decorated kinda disturbs me. There’s a bunch of creepy statues wherever you look, and I feel like they’re staring back at me when I walk by,” Ben says.
“Relax, Ben, the statues are probably just a cultural thing. It boosts the authenticity,” Jeremy calmly explains.
“I’m telling you. I saw their eyes moving” Ben says.
“It’s probably just one of those optical illusions.” Mark replies.
“Whatever. Let’s just get the check and head home,” Ben says, his eyes still darting around the dining room.
Jeremy puts on a sing-songy voice and begins to mock his friend, “Someone’s superstitious!”
“I am not. Superstition is always using the same lottery numbers because ‘they’re bound to be right eventually,’” Ben claps back.
“Think what you want, Ben, one of these days I’ll be a millionaire.” The men sat around the table making jabs at each other for some time, when suddenly it dawns on them that they are still waiting on their check.
The men stop talking and look towards the counter. At that moment, a man approaches with the check and three fortune cookies. “Perfect timing,” Jeremy says, taking the check, “I’ll get this one guys, when I’m a millionaire, expenses like this will be mere penny cash for me.”
“Gee, thanks,” Mark replies, rolling his eyes. Jeremy places the money inside the check and hands it back to the man. The men grab their fortune cookies and exit the building.
They walk out to a parking lot that is all but empty, the exception being one broken down truck that looks as if it belongs in an impound lot, Mark’s 1976 Ford. The windshield is cracked and dirty, the hood is littered with dents, and there’s a tacky set of fuzzy dice hanging around the mirror. Mark hops in the driver’s seat and Jeremy in the passenger’s seat. “You coming?” Jeremy asks.
“No thanks,” Ben replies, “that truck’s gonna break down for good one day. I’ll just call a cab.”
“Suit yourself,” Mark says, as he drives off.
Ben heads out into the dimly-lit, busy street to hail a cab. Almost as soon as he gets there, a cab pulls over by his side. Ben hops in, and the cab takes off. The cab driver turns around. He had a deformed face with a bulging, bug-like left eye. “Evenin’,” the cab driver says, “I’m Lucius.”
“Ben, charmed,” Ben replies trying to avoid eye contact with the man. Looking for a distraction, he turns to his fortune cookie. He unwraps the cookie and snaps it in half to read the fortune more clearly. “You will perish by sunset tomorrow,” he reads. He stares at the parchment for a few seconds, his eyes now more bugged out than Lucius’s. “You know what, maybe my friends were right, perhaps I am too paranoid,” he thinks to himself. “You’re home,” Lucius says. Ben continues to stare at the fortune. “Sir,” Lucius tries again, but there’s nothing still. “Sir!” Lucius yells.
Now startled, Ben jumps up in his seat, dropping his fortune and snapping back into reality. “Oh, thank you, Lucius,” Ben says as he pays his fare. “Don’t mention it,” Lucius says as Ben walks from the cab towards his front door, “Weirdo.”
Now inside his house, Ben decides not to think much of his fortune, and rather he makes his way to his bedroom to get some good rest. However, calling his rest good would be a stretch and a half. He tosses and turns all night; terrors fill his dreams as he envisions his death, time and time again. He jolts awake, huffing and puffing each time. After the third time this happens, Ben looks at his clock. It’s 3:30 a.m. He lets out an exasperated sigh, and he decides to get himself a glass of water before returning to bed. After this he, actually manages to stay asleep, although he still tosses and turns restlessly.
Ben wakes up again, and now it’s 12:30 p.m. “Dang it, I overslept,” he says groggily. He hears his phone go off, and so he picks it up. To Ben’s surprise, he has 99+ unread messages. Upon actually looking into them, he sees most of them are from Jeremy, but none provide much clarification; rather, the texts say things like “did you see the news?” “come quickly,” and “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” His interest piqued, Ben gets himself presentable, and sets off for Jeremy’s place.
Ben arrives at Jeremy’s house in record time, and he is taken aback at everything going on. There are several moving trucks around, some with boxes of furniture, some with brand new TVs, and some with fine china and glassware. “Ah Ben, glad you could make it,” Jeremy says as he walks out into his front lawn, a comically large check at his side.
“What is all this?” Ben asks, “And how on Earth could you afford any of it?!”
“Interesting story, it all started last night when Mark and I pulled into a gas station,” Jeremy began. “I was gonna buy a lottery ticket, but instead of going with my usual numbers, I figured it’d be smarter to go with the lucky numbers on the back of my fortune cookie. But get this, my lucky numbers on the cookie were the numbers I always use! What are the odds?! On top of that, my fortune was ‘trust your gut!’ I just figured that the stars aligned, and lo and behold, when they drew the numbers this morning, I won $670,000,000! First thing I did was go to the bank to upgrade my credit line, and I’ve been on a shopping spree all day!”
“I don’t believe it man, that’s incredible!” Ben replies with a noticeable quiver in his voice. “Where’s Mark? Shouldn’t he be here to see this too?”
“Oh, Mark’s seen it already, he showed up hours ago. I sent him off on a little shopping trip himself; he should be back any minute now.”
At that minute, a car horn honks at the two gentlemen, and they divert their attention to the street, where Mark is approaching the driveway; however, he isn’t in his dinky ford, rather, he’s in a brand new cherry red Mustang. “What’s up Ben?” Mark asks. “You like my new set of wheels?”
“Hell, yeah I do, but how’d you get it?” Ben asks dumbfounded. However, it doesn’t take long for him to connect the dots between the new car and his shopping spree.
“It’s a crazy story, man. Last night when Jeremy wanted to get a lotto ticket, he asked to borrow two bucks for it since he spent all his money at the Chinese place. I originally didn’t want to do it, but then my fortune said ‘you shall be compensated for your generosity one-thousandfold,’ so I figured I might as well just help a friend out,” Mark explains.
“Oh, how wonderful, both of your fortunes wound up working out,” Ben says, starting to sweat profusely.
“Hell, yeah they did man,” Mark says before honking. This honk startles one of the movers, causing them to drop a vase, shattering it.
“Aren’t you mad about that?” Ben asks.
“Nope,” Jeremy says without a second thought, “I’m rich, I’ll just replace it!”
“Yep, thanks to your…fortunes,” Ben weakly gets out. “On the subject of fortunes, Ben, what was yours?” Mark asks.
Not wanting his friends’ moods to be spoiled by his now certain death, Ben quickly thinks of a response. “I…uh, I never opened mine. I’m not superstitious enough to buy into that kind of junk. It’s just sitting on my kitchen counter.”
“Oh, well, Mark and I were about to ride around town while the movers set all that stuff up.” Jeremy replies, “if you want, we can drive you by your place to pick it up.” Ben entertains the idea in his mind, but his mind immediately wanders off to the possibility of the car exploding with them in it.
“You know what, as much as I’d love a ride, I think I’ll just head back to my place by myself, I got a busy day ahead of me.”
“Oh come on Ben,” Mark says, “live a little.”
“I’m gonna try,” Ben replies before sprinting off.
Ben returns home, out of breath, but still very much alive. “I just gotta find somewhere safe, a place I can survive until sunset.” He thinks aloud to himself. “The living room seems safe enough.” He surveys the living room; everything looks to be in order until he looks at the fan. He sees screws loose as the fan sways back and forth. “What if it falls and crushes me? Not safe enough.”
Ben runs up and down searching for somewhere safe. He considers the park, until he remembers the duck pond and how he could somehow drown inside of it. “There’s always the mall,” he thinks to himself. “Nevermind. I wouldn’t want to fall victim to a petty theft gone awry.” Ben continues to run from place to place, stopping occasionally to take a breath. Eventually, he runs into his friends driving down the road in Mark’s new car. The sun falls over the horizon, about to set. They pull over next to him, and he stops running.
“What’s up dude?” Mark asks, “You’re red in the face. You look like you just ran a marathon.”
“I feel like I might’ve,” Ben says in between pants. “According to my fortune, I’m supposed to die any second now.”
“That’s ridiculous, Ben,” Jeremy reassures him.
“Ben, Ben, Ben, always with your superstitions,” Mark adds. “Look, if it makes you feel better, we’ll wait with you here for a minute until you feel like you’re good to go.”
“You know what, yeah, I’d like that,” Ben replies.
The three men wait around each other by the car as sunset draws ever nearer. After a moment, a taxi cab pulls over on the other side of the street. Out walks Lucius, the fortune in his hand. “Excuse me sir, was this a threat?!” He asks as he gives Ben a death glare.
“What?” Ben asks puzzled as Lucius waves the fortune around.
“You know exactly what,” Lucius says with a soft voice but firm tone Lucius says with a soft voice but firm tone, and at that moment, he slams the door shut and places the fortune in his pocket.
Lucius begins trekking over to the men. In the middle of the street, a loud horn blares, Lucius diverts his attention away from the men only to see a semi-truck speeding towards him. Before he has any time to react, the truck hits Lucius with a loud thud, plastering the man all over the street. Limbs lie mangled and detached in the street, and in the center of it all is the fortune, still intact, and completely dry. The three men dart their eyes back and forth between the bloody corpse lying in the street, and back to each other. “So, you want to go on that drive now, Ben?” Mark asks, looking at Lucius and not his friend. “You know what, yeah, I’d like that,” Ben replies. Ben hops into the back of the Mustang, and Mark drives off. Most of the drive they found themselves silent. At least I’m not dead. Does that mean the fortune was wrong? Did the fortune somehow transfer to the cabby? Why couldn’t I have gotten the lotto fortune? Ben silently pondered these things to himself, the image of a dead Lucius forever imprinted into his retinas. Eventually, Jeremy broke the silence: “Anybody want Chinese?”
Braidon Urquides is a cadet currently in his third year at NMMI. He is a member of the NMMI Scholars Program who loves to write. In his free time, he enjoys writing, reading, and watching comedies. After graduation in Spring of 2022, he intends to become an English Professor.