Every year children look forward to going to the yearly carnival. the smell of sweet cotton candy that fills the air. The large array of overpriced games with the possibility of winning a cheap teddy bear, that can easily be bought from a garage sale. And the plethora of rides that spin so fast, it is almost like I have entered a new dimension. And maybe that is why I went to carnivals so often, it was a chance to escape what my reality was.
When the ride starts to spin slowly. I hoped once I came home, she would be there. Waiting for me with a plate of sugar cookies. Instead of waiting for me with a bottle of cheap liquor she picked up from the convenience store. The ride starts to spin a little faster. And I hoped that she would realize it is getting late and tuck me into bed. Instead of realizing that her one bottle isn’t enough & she would leave me alone for hours. Now the ride is spinning faster. And I hoped that she would just hug me and give me a goodnight kiss. Instead of hugging her second bottle and giving me a good number of bruises. Eventually the ride comes to a stop and I am transported back into reality.
My carnival wasn’t like every other child’s experience.
Instead of the scent of cotton candy, the scent of cheap liquor and cigarettes engulf my home. Instead of playing games trying to win a stuffed toy, I was playing keep away from child services every month when new bruises showed up on my body. And instead of riding ridiculous rides that spin me into a new dimension. every night my head was spinning from crying myself to sleep. Carnivals are supposed to happen once a year, right? I guess I had lifetime pass.
Madison McLean enjoys writing, watching movies & spending time with friends and family. She currently lives in Colorado Springs Colorado and this is her 6th year at New Mexico Military Institute.