Pure Intentions
Clementine Bondurant
“I saw him!” said Amelia Rein, “I was getting ice for my ankle, and he was in the ice bath. We made eye contact, God! It was like electric.” She continues to her roommate Harper, “I couldn’t take it, I had to look away, but he looked so cute!”
Harper says, “Aww! He told me you were cute today, maybe there’s something there.”
Amelia sighed; she had never had a crush like this before. How could she like him? She barely knew him. Spilling and ranting to Harper, “I sat with him at lunch today! It was awkward, and his friends were horrible. All they did was talk about girls in the worst ways. But it was okay because he was on his phone the entire time. He didn’t pay any attention to them.”
Harper says, “That’s good, and don’t worry because boys will be boys.” How could Amelia be so oblivious? It was like she was living in her own fantasy of this boy.
The next day, “Harper! Harper! He asked me to go on a walk with him! OMG! I’m so happy!” It should’ve been a sign.
“That’s great Mia! You have to tell me everything.” Starry-eyed Amelia says, “I will trust me.” Amelia and Wesley walk together in silence for a long time, he asks her to sit, and they do. In the grass they talk, Wesley asks, “what do your parents do for a living?” Mia replies, “My dad trains border collies, and my mom owns a store, a fruit plantation, and a rice farm in Thailand.”
In his Texas accent, “That’s cool. My dad is a fishing guide, and my mom is kinda dumb but she’s the manager of a company. She gets like $600,000 a year though.” Mia couldn’t believe that he said that. She replies, “Oh, that’s nice.”
He says, “Yeah.” They sat in silence. She looked into his eyes, and he turned away. They walked together every night and he asked her to be his girlfriend while walking her back to her dorm. “Harper! He asked me to be his. He asked me and I looked up at him and his brown eyes never sparkled so much than in that moment. I’ll never forget it!” Harper excitedly says, “Mia! Mia! Mia! You have a boyfriend! Wow!”
What a mistake he was. “You were always nice to me Wesley! You would hug me and talk to me for hours! That’s all I wanted with you.”
What a person he was. Their relationship started awkwardly, but it was great in her eyes. Amelia never realized how bad he would turn out to be. She thought the world of him and talked about him every night.
“He’s so nice to me and he’s the best hugger. I could stay in his arms forever.” Mia would say to her roommate, Harper. Amelia felt calm when she was in his arms. She said, “We went to the garden, and he hugged me. We just stood there in silence hugging, and it was the best hug I ever had. I felt euphoric in a calm way. Like roses petals floating down a slow stream It was so comfortable, and I felt like I could fall asleep. All of my stress just went away.”
Harper said, “Eww, gross, I hate cute couples. You guys deserve each other.” Amelia knew Harper loved her. Wesley said that he did too. Amelia couldn’t believe it.
“He said it! He said he loved me! I can remember the moment perfectly. We were sitting at the bleachers talking about life and school. I was huddled up in a huge grey blanket that was super fuzzy. The five-minute call goes off and we walk back into the box. Leaving Sally Port, he hands my blanket back to me and says, ‘I love you’ like it was the simplest thing in the world. It meant everything.”
Amelia couldn’t breathe at that moment. She ran back to her room dazed and happier than ever before.
Harper was in shock, “It’s too soon Mia, you should think about this more.” But Amelia had already said it back, this was the point of no return.
Everything was well in their little world. Amelia had good grades and so did Wesley. Running around chasing each other, long hugs, it was perfect. She thought.
“Hey, Mia, my parents want to take you out to lunch. Are you okay with that?” Wesley asks.
Amelia was caught out of the blue, she didn’t expect that so early. After only two weeks, this was insane. She said yes and was full of jittery nerves. “Harper it was so bad, I was shaking when we were walking to their car. I was never so nervous in my life. I met his mom, and we went to a restaurant where I met his grandma and his dad. The food was so good, but the conversation was awkward.”
Harper sighs, “Meeting the parents is never fun, I’m sorry. What did you guys do after?”
Mia says, “We went back to his rental house, and I took a nap with his grandma while he and his dad sat on the couch and watched football. I woke up and watched football with his family and then his mom and I went to the nail salon. It was so nice. I love his mom.”
Harper says, “That’s so cute! I hate couples oh my god, I wish someone’s mom would take me out like that.”
Amelia replies, “Don’t worry, you’ll get there too. After that, we went to the grocery store and Wes kissed me in one of the aisles. Ugh, it was so perfect.”
Amelia wished she could feel that way about him forever. Little did she know that this sweet boy she imagined wasn’t who he said he was. And maybe she wasn’t who she thought she was. I know I shouldn’t have cuddled with Mason. But it was meaningless, right?
Talking to Harper, “I told Wesley everything, but he doesn’t believe me. I can see why but all I want is for him to be on my side. We were doing so good.”
After two months he didn’t trust her. He wasn’t fully to blame, Amelia messed up too.
“All it took for him was a text! And he threw away our entire relationship. Two months of my life wasted on him!” Amelia ranted to Harper, “I gave him so much of myself, I wanted a genuine relationship with him and all he could do was throw it away. Wesley, with his brown hair and dimples. I fell for him, flat on my face. I can’t believe him! The audacity he has to question my loyalty! How could he? I told him the truth. He didn’t say anything to me. He said he was testing my loyalty, my trust, he said he didn’t want to waste money on a relationship that he didn’t trust. He thought I cheated on him, Harper! How could he think that? I would never take out my worst fear on someone else. I loved him, he said he loved me. I guess it was all a lie.”
Harper furiously says, “HE DID WHAT? I’m calling him”
Amelia didn’t know what to think. Her heart was in shambles as she cried on the floor. She felt numb.
Her roommate, Harper, yells at him, “Why would you do that to her? You fucked up! You know how important you are to her! She doesn’t deserve this, Wesley!”
In a wave of emotion, he says, “I was just trying to test her! I know I fucked up!” Wesley punches the stairs and screams, “FUCK!” He didn’t know what to do, what is she going to say? How do I fix this? All she did was lay on top of him. Why didn’t I believe her?
Crying on her floor Amelia thinks, I didn’t do anything to him; I never would. Why doesn’t he believe me? I told him the truth. Harper comes back. As she tries to comfort Amelia, there comes a call.
Michael, Mason, and Micah call to check on her. They work out a game plan and Amelia knows what she must do. I’m going to break up with him.
Wesley texts her, apologizing for what he knows he did wrong, playing the victim saying he didn’t know what she meant, and wishing it could all go back to the way that it was.
Amelia, being as hurt as she was, says, “Stop texting me, I will talk to you tomorrow.” What was his reason? Why didn’t he just talk to me? We could’ve worked it out. She cries herself to sleep and acts as if everything is okay the next day.
Amelia couldn’t focus on her classes that day and was trying so hard to be her normal happy self that everyone loved and expected. How could she ever be anyone else?
She held a strong face, her mother told her to never cry over a boy. Yet here she was, Amelia asked Wesley to meet her at the stairs and they walked to the garden together in silence.
She couldn’t trust her safety with him, why? The same day he lost his trust in her, he did the big C with his friends. Amelia couldn’t believe it, but she wasn’t going to break up with him for it.
She chose to see the best in people. “All we did was hold hands, Harper, I told him everything. He doesn’t believe me. Wesley wanted me to mess up, so he could blame me. He used me to clear his conscience.” Amelia tells Harper.
That night, Amelia decides to break up with Wesley. She brought Mason and her close friend Liv with her to the breakup, unknown by Wesley. As they walked into the garden, Amelia stood and looked him in the eyes, not saying a word. Wesley reached for a hug, Amelia says in a fit of rage, “No! How could you sit there and try to hug me after all the hurt you put me through? You made me believe that you loved me. How stupid could I be to believe that? I gave so much of myself to you just for you to say that you wanted to test me, and I couldn’t be trusted. I’m one of the most loyal girls at this school! I could never cheat on you, why? Because I love you, Wesley. I would’ve done anything for you! You threw that away without a thought and now you feel remorse that you don’t deserve. Micah, Mason, and Michael poured their hearts out while you stared at your phone. You didn’t have a care in the world.” Wesley, in awe of her yelling, starts, “I…” In tears, “No, Wesley! You don’t deserve to talk right now; you can wait until I’m done!” He sits on the bench of their memories previous and cries. Amelia starts again, “I never cared for anyone as much as I cared for you! I’ve never loved anyone as much as I do you! Now, look at me! I’m trying so hard to be strong and put up a front for everyone else but I’m breaking because of you! We could’ve talked about it, Wesley! We could’ve been mature and talked about it, but no. You chose to ask someone else, someone you barely knew, you still didn’t believe him when he told you the truth, Wesley. You didn’t want me to be right. You wanted me to lie to you. You never wanted this to work out. I told you that I wasn’t going to do anything with you the first week that we started dating, and now? Now you’re going around telling your friends that we’re making out every night but you and I both know that isn’t true.” She catches her breath and wipes away tears, “you’re telling your friends that you can do whatever you want with me. Like I’m some kind of trinket you won at the arcade. I always talk so highly of you, and you won’t even talk to my dad. How selfish you are, Wesley.”
Wesley, staring at the ground, mouths, “I’m sorry.”
That’s all he could say. It didn’t matter how pretty the moon was that night, how the water flowed through the garden, how the vines crawled up the building, how much she wanted to hug him, how much she wanted to tell him it would be okay, how much she wanted to forgive him, to fall into his arms once again, but she couldn’t.
They sit in silence thinking. Amelia has more to say but she spares his heart the damage. She looks at him one last time, crying on the bench, he says, “I’m sorry.” Amelia walks away and leaves him in the dark and lonely garden with his thoughts.
To her closest friends Mason, Liv, and Harper, “I’m over him. It felt so good to break it off, he was taking all of my positivity and using me.” Amelia says.
Part of that statement might have been true, but Amelia had no idea she would still be crying over him two months later. She wouldn’t be able to sleep and felt horrible for the way she broke up with Wesley.
Coming back to a sunny and breezy campus, Amelia saw him. No, no, no, please don’t look at me. He did. It was the first time she had seen him in months, and she felt sick to her stomach.
Asking him to talk one night, Amelia apologizes for the way she broke up with him. On the bench near the bronco, they sit. All Wesley has to say is, “Ok.” And that was the end.
Nothing happened between the two of them. They still glance at each other in the halls but now Amelia has moved on and so has he. Yet somehow, they still manage to talk highly about each other, and the same thoughts are always there. My first boyfriend, pure intentions with you I always had. Forgetting the fight, the tears she cried alone in her room at three in the morning, and the horrible feelings. Amelia still believes he’s an amazing person that deserves someone just as amazing as he is.
Never lacking a smile on her face, Amelia acts as if she never cared. Love-struck and starry-eyed again, Amelia begins a new chapter.
Harper says, “Aww! He told me you were cute today, maybe there’s something there.”
Amelia sighed; she had never had a crush like this before. How could she like him? She barely knew him. Spilling and ranting to Harper, “I sat with him at lunch today! It was awkward, and his friends were horrible. All they did was talk about girls in the worst ways. But it was okay because he was on his phone the entire time. He didn’t pay any attention to them.”
Harper says, “That’s good, and don’t worry because boys will be boys.” How could Amelia be so oblivious? It was like she was living in her own fantasy of this boy.
The next day, “Harper! Harper! He asked me to go on a walk with him! OMG! I’m so happy!” It should’ve been a sign.
“That’s great Mia! You have to tell me everything.” Starry-eyed Amelia says, “I will trust me.” Amelia and Wesley walk together in silence for a long time, he asks her to sit, and they do. In the grass they talk, Wesley asks, “what do your parents do for a living?” Mia replies, “My dad trains border collies, and my mom owns a store, a fruit plantation, and a rice farm in Thailand.”
In his Texas accent, “That’s cool. My dad is a fishing guide, and my mom is kinda dumb but she’s the manager of a company. She gets like $600,000 a year though.” Mia couldn’t believe that he said that. She replies, “Oh, that’s nice.”
He says, “Yeah.” They sat in silence. She looked into his eyes, and he turned away. They walked together every night and he asked her to be his girlfriend while walking her back to her dorm. “Harper! He asked me to be his. He asked me and I looked up at him and his brown eyes never sparkled so much than in that moment. I’ll never forget it!” Harper excitedly says, “Mia! Mia! Mia! You have a boyfriend! Wow!”
What a mistake he was. “You were always nice to me Wesley! You would hug me and talk to me for hours! That’s all I wanted with you.”
What a person he was. Their relationship started awkwardly, but it was great in her eyes. Amelia never realized how bad he would turn out to be. She thought the world of him and talked about him every night.
“He’s so nice to me and he’s the best hugger. I could stay in his arms forever.” Mia would say to her roommate, Harper. Amelia felt calm when she was in his arms. She said, “We went to the garden, and he hugged me. We just stood there in silence hugging, and it was the best hug I ever had. I felt euphoric in a calm way. Like roses petals floating down a slow stream It was so comfortable, and I felt like I could fall asleep. All of my stress just went away.”
Harper said, “Eww, gross, I hate cute couples. You guys deserve each other.” Amelia knew Harper loved her. Wesley said that he did too. Amelia couldn’t believe it.
“He said it! He said he loved me! I can remember the moment perfectly. We were sitting at the bleachers talking about life and school. I was huddled up in a huge grey blanket that was super fuzzy. The five-minute call goes off and we walk back into the box. Leaving Sally Port, he hands my blanket back to me and says, ‘I love you’ like it was the simplest thing in the world. It meant everything.”
Amelia couldn’t breathe at that moment. She ran back to her room dazed and happier than ever before.
Harper was in shock, “It’s too soon Mia, you should think about this more.” But Amelia had already said it back, this was the point of no return.
Everything was well in their little world. Amelia had good grades and so did Wesley. Running around chasing each other, long hugs, it was perfect. She thought.
“Hey, Mia, my parents want to take you out to lunch. Are you okay with that?” Wesley asks.
Amelia was caught out of the blue, she didn’t expect that so early. After only two weeks, this was insane. She said yes and was full of jittery nerves. “Harper it was so bad, I was shaking when we were walking to their car. I was never so nervous in my life. I met his mom, and we went to a restaurant where I met his grandma and his dad. The food was so good, but the conversation was awkward.”
Harper sighs, “Meeting the parents is never fun, I’m sorry. What did you guys do after?”
Mia says, “We went back to his rental house, and I took a nap with his grandma while he and his dad sat on the couch and watched football. I woke up and watched football with his family and then his mom and I went to the nail salon. It was so nice. I love his mom.”
Harper says, “That’s so cute! I hate couples oh my god, I wish someone’s mom would take me out like that.”
Amelia replies, “Don’t worry, you’ll get there too. After that, we went to the grocery store and Wes kissed me in one of the aisles. Ugh, it was so perfect.”
Amelia wished she could feel that way about him forever. Little did she know that this sweet boy she imagined wasn’t who he said he was. And maybe she wasn’t who she thought she was. I know I shouldn’t have cuddled with Mason. But it was meaningless, right?
Talking to Harper, “I told Wesley everything, but he doesn’t believe me. I can see why but all I want is for him to be on my side. We were doing so good.”
After two months he didn’t trust her. He wasn’t fully to blame, Amelia messed up too.
“All it took for him was a text! And he threw away our entire relationship. Two months of my life wasted on him!” Amelia ranted to Harper, “I gave him so much of myself, I wanted a genuine relationship with him and all he could do was throw it away. Wesley, with his brown hair and dimples. I fell for him, flat on my face. I can’t believe him! The audacity he has to question my loyalty! How could he? I told him the truth. He didn’t say anything to me. He said he was testing my loyalty, my trust, he said he didn’t want to waste money on a relationship that he didn’t trust. He thought I cheated on him, Harper! How could he think that? I would never take out my worst fear on someone else. I loved him, he said he loved me. I guess it was all a lie.”
Harper furiously says, “HE DID WHAT? I’m calling him”
Amelia didn’t know what to think. Her heart was in shambles as she cried on the floor. She felt numb.
Her roommate, Harper, yells at him, “Why would you do that to her? You fucked up! You know how important you are to her! She doesn’t deserve this, Wesley!”
In a wave of emotion, he says, “I was just trying to test her! I know I fucked up!” Wesley punches the stairs and screams, “FUCK!” He didn’t know what to do, what is she going to say? How do I fix this? All she did was lay on top of him. Why didn’t I believe her?
Crying on her floor Amelia thinks, I didn’t do anything to him; I never would. Why doesn’t he believe me? I told him the truth. Harper comes back. As she tries to comfort Amelia, there comes a call.
Michael, Mason, and Micah call to check on her. They work out a game plan and Amelia knows what she must do. I’m going to break up with him.
Wesley texts her, apologizing for what he knows he did wrong, playing the victim saying he didn’t know what she meant, and wishing it could all go back to the way that it was.
Amelia, being as hurt as she was, says, “Stop texting me, I will talk to you tomorrow.” What was his reason? Why didn’t he just talk to me? We could’ve worked it out. She cries herself to sleep and acts as if everything is okay the next day.
Amelia couldn’t focus on her classes that day and was trying so hard to be her normal happy self that everyone loved and expected. How could she ever be anyone else?
She held a strong face, her mother told her to never cry over a boy. Yet here she was, Amelia asked Wesley to meet her at the stairs and they walked to the garden together in silence.
She couldn’t trust her safety with him, why? The same day he lost his trust in her, he did the big C with his friends. Amelia couldn’t believe it, but she wasn’t going to break up with him for it.
She chose to see the best in people. “All we did was hold hands, Harper, I told him everything. He doesn’t believe me. Wesley wanted me to mess up, so he could blame me. He used me to clear his conscience.” Amelia tells Harper.
That night, Amelia decides to break up with Wesley. She brought Mason and her close friend Liv with her to the breakup, unknown by Wesley. As they walked into the garden, Amelia stood and looked him in the eyes, not saying a word. Wesley reached for a hug, Amelia says in a fit of rage, “No! How could you sit there and try to hug me after all the hurt you put me through? You made me believe that you loved me. How stupid could I be to believe that? I gave so much of myself to you just for you to say that you wanted to test me, and I couldn’t be trusted. I’m one of the most loyal girls at this school! I could never cheat on you, why? Because I love you, Wesley. I would’ve done anything for you! You threw that away without a thought and now you feel remorse that you don’t deserve. Micah, Mason, and Michael poured their hearts out while you stared at your phone. You didn’t have a care in the world.” Wesley, in awe of her yelling, starts, “I…” In tears, “No, Wesley! You don’t deserve to talk right now; you can wait until I’m done!” He sits on the bench of their memories previous and cries. Amelia starts again, “I never cared for anyone as much as I cared for you! I’ve never loved anyone as much as I do you! Now, look at me! I’m trying so hard to be strong and put up a front for everyone else but I’m breaking because of you! We could’ve talked about it, Wesley! We could’ve been mature and talked about it, but no. You chose to ask someone else, someone you barely knew, you still didn’t believe him when he told you the truth, Wesley. You didn’t want me to be right. You wanted me to lie to you. You never wanted this to work out. I told you that I wasn’t going to do anything with you the first week that we started dating, and now? Now you’re going around telling your friends that we’re making out every night but you and I both know that isn’t true.” She catches her breath and wipes away tears, “you’re telling your friends that you can do whatever you want with me. Like I’m some kind of trinket you won at the arcade. I always talk so highly of you, and you won’t even talk to my dad. How selfish you are, Wesley.”
Wesley, staring at the ground, mouths, “I’m sorry.”
That’s all he could say. It didn’t matter how pretty the moon was that night, how the water flowed through the garden, how the vines crawled up the building, how much she wanted to hug him, how much she wanted to tell him it would be okay, how much she wanted to forgive him, to fall into his arms once again, but she couldn’t.
They sit in silence thinking. Amelia has more to say but she spares his heart the damage. She looks at him one last time, crying on the bench, he says, “I’m sorry.” Amelia walks away and leaves him in the dark and lonely garden with his thoughts.
To her closest friends Mason, Liv, and Harper, “I’m over him. It felt so good to break it off, he was taking all of my positivity and using me.” Amelia says.
Part of that statement might have been true, but Amelia had no idea she would still be crying over him two months later. She wouldn’t be able to sleep and felt horrible for the way she broke up with Wesley.
Coming back to a sunny and breezy campus, Amelia saw him. No, no, no, please don’t look at me. He did. It was the first time she had seen him in months, and she felt sick to her stomach.
Asking him to talk one night, Amelia apologizes for the way she broke up with him. On the bench near the bronco, they sit. All Wesley has to say is, “Ok.” And that was the end.
Nothing happened between the two of them. They still glance at each other in the halls but now Amelia has moved on and so has he. Yet somehow, they still manage to talk highly about each other, and the same thoughts are always there. My first boyfriend, pure intentions with you I always had. Forgetting the fight, the tears she cried alone in her room at three in the morning, and the horrible feelings. Amelia still believes he’s an amazing person that deserves someone just as amazing as he is.
Never lacking a smile on her face, Amelia acts as if she never cared. Love-struck and starry-eyed again, Amelia begins a new chapter.
My name is Clementine Bondurant and this is my first year at NMMI. I'm a high school freshman finishing up with my finals (thank goodness). I'm interested in philosophy and aspire to be a lawyer. I live a crazy life and have been many places, but my favorite will always be my home, Udon Thani, Thailand. The place I learned to climb coconut trees and found my life values.