Life Without You
Arianna Taylor
What would my life be like if he had never left? I would honestly probably be happier. I would cry less and spend more time with friends. I would love the scent of your skin and the feel of your hand on my knee. Instead of despising the girls who receive the giant bears on Valentine’s Day, I might still giggle at such an act of love, remembering the giant bear that lies on my bed. My day would go smoother. Something like waking up and opening the window, just to breathe the cold air. Maybe I would start the day with coffee instead of dread. Hopefully, I would work on homework before midnight so that I would sleep better and for longer. I might even go to dinner after track. I probably wouldn’t dread going to my first and second periods, because we would see each other. Instead, I would be excited for you to tell me about how much you ‘love’ your second-period teacher as you roll your eyes. I would hope that I would even talk to everyone who approaches me rather than just turn away. I might smile remembering the fancy golden chocolates that didn’t last me more than a week. I think life would be very different. But maybe life would be worse. Maybe I would cry so hard my eyes became bloodshot. I might even have headaches all the time. The type of headaches that ibuprofen cannot fix. I think I might worry too much, about if you’re safe or if you slept enough the night before. I would stay awake at night afraid of falling asleep. What if you needed me? What if you called, and I didn’t answer? I know you would never call. You probably would never need me. Not the way I needed you. I think we would fight too much. It’s not that I didn’t love you, because I still do. I think it’s the fact that one person cannot love enough for two. I tried though; I did. But sometimes we don’t get all we give. So, you left, and I cried. I just know I would have cried more if you would have stayed, if all your anger was taken out on me. Now I never have to know what it feels like to fight with you. Or hear how angry you get. Maybe it was all a blessing. But now I’m left to wonder what life would be like if you never left.
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." -Marilyn Monroe