I Like Stealing: It Makes My Heart Go Fast
Savannah Sandoval
Ever since I was little, I had a fetish for stealing items from wherever I went. From restaurants, friends’ houses, stores, and gift shops. The rule I made for myself was that wherever I went, I had to steal something to satisfy my little demon thieve inside me. I have been stealing from places since I was four years old. I have never gotten caught (did a little knock-on-wood), and now I am an adult 18 years of age. I diagnosed myself with kleptomania, which is the urge to steal. Sometimes I keep the stolen items and sometimes I pawn the items for money. My favorite thing about pawning the items is the cashier dude always tells me, “If this is a stolen item and we find out you will be arrested and charged with theft”. Sidenote the pawn shop never finds out that every item I have pawned was stolen. My favorite movie to watch was Oceans 8; they were my inspiration growing up. If you are unfamiliar with Ocean 8 it is about a group of women who stole a necklace worth 150 million dollars from the Met Gala. They got 150 million US dollars for free, and they did it all by stealing. The most expensive item I have stolen was a 50-thousand-dollar wedding ring from this lady I was babysitting for. She was divorced and the wedding ring was put away and I found it in her closet. I am still babysitting this lady’s children to this day. It is crazy to think that I stole her ring over a year ago and I believe she still does not know that it is gone. Anyways enough back story, my family and I went on a long-needed vacation to Dubai. This so-called vacation was for my father the Vice-President of the U.S to meet the King of Dubai. My father was going to work during the vacation; my mom and sister were going to do vacation activities and I was going to do that too while stealing stuff. Dubai is all the way in Egypt which is a very rich and well-to-do city. It was the perfect vacation spot; not for the views but for all the expensive items I could steal and take back to the United States to be pawned. We arrived in Dubai on August 1st and went straight to the king’s palace for his son’s birthday party. The king’s palace was where my family and I were housed. While we were just hanging out, I heard a conversation between the King- and Queen of Dubai while I was trying to find the bathroom. They were gifting their son a 1 million-dollar watch for his birthday, and the queen was undecided on black wrapping paper or blue wrapping paper for the present. I stayed and listened for a little longer and she chose black wrapping paper for the watch. Oh, did my thieve demon start jumping for joy a million dollars for free that sounds good to me. From now on this whole trip was about the operation: Steal the birthday boy’s $1 million watch. I was determined to steal this man’s watch and take it home to pawn it. It was the next day, and we went to the beach that was literally right outside their backyard; the beach was their backyard. The only thing I was thinking about was the plan to steal the watch. I was going to grab it at the birthday party; I just needed to figure out what box it was in and where the box would be at. If I were to steal it at the birthday party, it could be several people who stole the watch. After we got back from the beach, which was so beautiful and relaxing, it was go time. Time for the birthday boy’s 18th birthday party, and my time to shine with my grand larceny. The birthday party finally started, and all the presents were on the gift table and boy were there a ton of gifts. I made myself besties with the queen at the beach the day before so I could help at the birthday party. When I mean help, I mean grab the birthday boy’s presents and put them on the gift table to scout out the watch. I made the hundred and fifty presents look neat and organized. While I was organizing all the presents, I found a small black box. I shook it a little and believed it was the watch. Made sure no one was looking and shoved it down my shirt. I went to the bathroom and unboxed the watch. Ripped open the wrapping paper and there it was the Rolex box. I then opened the Rolex box up, I had so many emotions at that moment, but defeat was not supposed to be one of my emotions. There was a note sitting on a rock that said, “I know what you have been doing”. I was so scared and started shaking like a leaf. I opened the window in the bathroom, took the note out, and threw everything onto the beach. Walked out of the bathroom and there was my father standing outside with my mother, and behind them were three Dubai police officers. I smiled at all five of them and tried to keep walking before I was stopped by this one police officer. My parents knew I would try and run away as soon as I got confronted, so that is why they bought back up with them. My father and mother pulled me into the bathroom they told me that they knew about everything I have stolen and that they had to pay off all the damages that I caused. They paid off every single person and business I have ever stolen from. Which cost roughly around $150 million. I was defeated and hurt at this very moment. The only reason that I got caught was because the pawn shop dude works for my father, and my father owns the pawn shop. My father was the one that set up the fake Rolex watch, and everyone was in on it. I went back to my nice room at the palace and cried for hours. We flew back to the US and that was the last time I ever stole anything.
Don't steal, kids.