He's Been Gone
Geraldlynn Notah
Growing up I would think I was the odd ball out. I never grew up with a father figure in my life until we moved to Albuquerque, when I turned six. I was told to call this stranger my dad. He was tall, kind of nice, and was never home because he was at work. After a year we moved to a town called Edgewood and from there I went to a school called Route 66 Elementary School. In all my six years of being there, there was always a dance in the spring called the Father Daughter Dance. I asked my mom if she wanted to go with my sister and I because we did not have a dad, she was out father figure. She looked at us and said, ask your dad. I never talked to my step dad because I felt comfortable talking to him and because he never talked to me or my sister. My sister and I decided not to ask him. The dance passed and we did not go instead that night I laid in bed staring at the ceiling thinking to myself, “Who is my dad?”
Summer has started and I have not done anything other than stay home and talk to my twin on what she taught, who our dad was. We were both young and did not have any clue on what we were talking about. We thought maybe he had other kids and was to busy to see us. We also thought maybe he was dead and that was one of the reasons why our mom never talked about him. But we never asked our mom about him because we were scared to ask. But we saw that my mom had a huge box in her closet, and we opened it one day while she was sleeping and went threw it. We saw a lot of old pictures of me and my sister as babies. There were also pictures of my sister as a baby and we came across pictures of my mom when she was much younger with family we never seen before. But one picture stood out it was a picture of my mom with some guy that had facial features of my twin sister. The guy in the picture has one arm relaxed holding my mom and was holding a coke in his free hand. Comparing his facial features to my sister; saw that they both had a small forehead, pointy small nose, almond shaped eyes and high pointy check bones. The only difference was that he was a male and that he had a small mustache and was short. We took the picture out of the box and put everything away before my mom woke up. We took off to our room and hid the picture. Later that night we looked closer at the picture and more questions popped up in our heads. “Is he our father?” “I wonder what he is like?” “How old is he?” and many more.
We became more curious about who our father in our my seventh-grade year. One day my mom went through the box in her closet and noticed it was unorganized. My noticed that something was misplaced and was not left the way she left it. She new that we touched the box and went through it, she found that a picture was missing and saw that me and my sister were hiding. She found us and asked us if we had the picture and that we should gave it back. She was kind of mad at us because we went through her personal stuff without asking and asked us if we wanted to know who the guy was in the picture. My sister and I looked at each other and nodded yes. So, then she sat down on the bed and took a deep breath and hesitated like if she wanted to tell us. After a few minutes passed she looked at us very serious and said, “This guy you see here is your father, His name is Gerald.” We looked at her in excitement and ask how old he was and why he wasn’t here. My mom looked upset and said, “Well, you may not understand.” But then said, “I met your father in High School when I was eighteen years old, we dated for five years. You father was the same age as me and after knowing each other for a while we decided to have babies. ‘His mother did not like me and we had arguments’ Your father was a mamma's boy and made the decision to stay with his mother and every sense he never came around.’” My sister and I became fogged up in the head confused and sad. Our questions were killed by finding out the truth about why our father wasn’t in our life. My mom told us not to worry because she would always have our backs and make sure that we grow up to become strong independent women.
My seventh-grade year ended, and I decided to make a Facebook. After setting up my account the first person to come across my mind was Gerald Notah. I put his name in the search engine and a picture popped up. I was surprised and scared because I didn’t want my mom to find out that I was searching for my father on Facebook. So, I clicked on the picture to see if I noticed the same guy in the picture my mom has of my father. I recognized the small mustache and the smile; my heart was pounding in excitement because I was a click away from sending him a message. I showed my twin later that day and we decided to go to my mom about it. I showed my mom and she was shocked that I found his Facebook page because she has been trying to get a hold of him for several years. My mom told me not to message and noticed that on his profile picture he had the Sandia Mountains in it. From there she knew he was working in Albuquerque and told us that she would find out where he was working so that we can meet him.
School started and my sister and I were busy with sports and forgot that our mom was looking for our dad in Albuquerque. At the time there weren’t a lot of construction cites so she narrowed it down to two places. I received a text from my mom on Facebook that she was going to pick me and my sister up for lunch; I went to go get my sister so we can meet my mom in the front office so our mom can sign us out. We got to the car and she asked us if we wanted to go see our dad. My sister and I both looked at each other and nodded, both excited and nervous about meeting our dad for the first time in 12 years we didn’t know how to feel. So many scenarios popped up in my brain on how I wanted to approach Gerald. If I should be angry or happy but we were already in the parking lot waiting to catch my father going on his lunch break. After ten minutes of waiting we lost hope and wanted to leave but my mom pointed and told me and my sister to get out of the car and go talk to him. So, we got out of the car and my heart started to pound that I was going to faint because I saw a short guy with a small beard that looked like my twin sister. I yelled, “Are you Gerald Notah.” The guy stopped in his footsteps and he looked like you could see his spiritual body float away because he was not expecting to see two small girls in the parking lot in a middle of a construction cite looking for a guy named Gerald.
After standing in the parking lot for about an hour, he mange to recognized me and my sister because we told him that we are his twin daughters that he left behind. He dropped his gloves and working helmet on the ground and hugged the both of us. He started to cry and asked how we have been and that we have grown so fast. His hand was shaking because he was very nervous, he didn’t know what to say or talk about. So, I went ahead and asked why he has been gone for so long and why he never bothered to write us letters or search for us. His response was speechless and all he said was, “I have no explanation, but I am happy god has blessed him with such beautiful girls.” My sister and I looked at each other confused in what he had said, but our mom came out of the car and walked towards us. That’s when Gerald became even more scared, he was trying to avoid eye contact with her and seemed like he was about to run back to his car, but he stayed. My mother came up and asked if he wanted to continue to visit us. He was saying that he was going to be busy and would have no time to spend with me and my sister. My mom was furious and started to yell at him in Navajo. Me and my sister just looked at each other and guessed she was telling him to get his crap together and get to know the two of us because we are about to enter high school. Gerald looked upset and sad and he said his goodbye and left. We were confused but my mom told us to get in the car and that she would take us back home. In the car ride back home, she told us that she never held us back from him and never held him back from seeing us. She was happy that we asked about our dad and got to see him. Me and my sister were happy we got to meet our dad for about two hours out of the 14 years. We never heard or seen Gerald ever sense then and never asked another question about him.
Summer has started and I have not done anything other than stay home and talk to my twin on what she taught, who our dad was. We were both young and did not have any clue on what we were talking about. We thought maybe he had other kids and was to busy to see us. We also thought maybe he was dead and that was one of the reasons why our mom never talked about him. But we never asked our mom about him because we were scared to ask. But we saw that my mom had a huge box in her closet, and we opened it one day while she was sleeping and went threw it. We saw a lot of old pictures of me and my sister as babies. There were also pictures of my sister as a baby and we came across pictures of my mom when she was much younger with family we never seen before. But one picture stood out it was a picture of my mom with some guy that had facial features of my twin sister. The guy in the picture has one arm relaxed holding my mom and was holding a coke in his free hand. Comparing his facial features to my sister; saw that they both had a small forehead, pointy small nose, almond shaped eyes and high pointy check bones. The only difference was that he was a male and that he had a small mustache and was short. We took the picture out of the box and put everything away before my mom woke up. We took off to our room and hid the picture. Later that night we looked closer at the picture and more questions popped up in our heads. “Is he our father?” “I wonder what he is like?” “How old is he?” and many more.
We became more curious about who our father in our my seventh-grade year. One day my mom went through the box in her closet and noticed it was unorganized. My noticed that something was misplaced and was not left the way she left it. She new that we touched the box and went through it, she found that a picture was missing and saw that me and my sister were hiding. She found us and asked us if we had the picture and that we should gave it back. She was kind of mad at us because we went through her personal stuff without asking and asked us if we wanted to know who the guy was in the picture. My sister and I looked at each other and nodded yes. So, then she sat down on the bed and took a deep breath and hesitated like if she wanted to tell us. After a few minutes passed she looked at us very serious and said, “This guy you see here is your father, His name is Gerald.” We looked at her in excitement and ask how old he was and why he wasn’t here. My mom looked upset and said, “Well, you may not understand.” But then said, “I met your father in High School when I was eighteen years old, we dated for five years. You father was the same age as me and after knowing each other for a while we decided to have babies. ‘His mother did not like me and we had arguments’ Your father was a mamma's boy and made the decision to stay with his mother and every sense he never came around.’” My sister and I became fogged up in the head confused and sad. Our questions were killed by finding out the truth about why our father wasn’t in our life. My mom told us not to worry because she would always have our backs and make sure that we grow up to become strong independent women.
My seventh-grade year ended, and I decided to make a Facebook. After setting up my account the first person to come across my mind was Gerald Notah. I put his name in the search engine and a picture popped up. I was surprised and scared because I didn’t want my mom to find out that I was searching for my father on Facebook. So, I clicked on the picture to see if I noticed the same guy in the picture my mom has of my father. I recognized the small mustache and the smile; my heart was pounding in excitement because I was a click away from sending him a message. I showed my twin later that day and we decided to go to my mom about it. I showed my mom and she was shocked that I found his Facebook page because she has been trying to get a hold of him for several years. My mom told me not to message and noticed that on his profile picture he had the Sandia Mountains in it. From there she knew he was working in Albuquerque and told us that she would find out where he was working so that we can meet him.
School started and my sister and I were busy with sports and forgot that our mom was looking for our dad in Albuquerque. At the time there weren’t a lot of construction cites so she narrowed it down to two places. I received a text from my mom on Facebook that she was going to pick me and my sister up for lunch; I went to go get my sister so we can meet my mom in the front office so our mom can sign us out. We got to the car and she asked us if we wanted to go see our dad. My sister and I both looked at each other and nodded, both excited and nervous about meeting our dad for the first time in 12 years we didn’t know how to feel. So many scenarios popped up in my brain on how I wanted to approach Gerald. If I should be angry or happy but we were already in the parking lot waiting to catch my father going on his lunch break. After ten minutes of waiting we lost hope and wanted to leave but my mom pointed and told me and my sister to get out of the car and go talk to him. So, we got out of the car and my heart started to pound that I was going to faint because I saw a short guy with a small beard that looked like my twin sister. I yelled, “Are you Gerald Notah.” The guy stopped in his footsteps and he looked like you could see his spiritual body float away because he was not expecting to see two small girls in the parking lot in a middle of a construction cite looking for a guy named Gerald.
After standing in the parking lot for about an hour, he mange to recognized me and my sister because we told him that we are his twin daughters that he left behind. He dropped his gloves and working helmet on the ground and hugged the both of us. He started to cry and asked how we have been and that we have grown so fast. His hand was shaking because he was very nervous, he didn’t know what to say or talk about. So, I went ahead and asked why he has been gone for so long and why he never bothered to write us letters or search for us. His response was speechless and all he said was, “I have no explanation, but I am happy god has blessed him with such beautiful girls.” My sister and I looked at each other confused in what he had said, but our mom came out of the car and walked towards us. That’s when Gerald became even more scared, he was trying to avoid eye contact with her and seemed like he was about to run back to his car, but he stayed. My mother came up and asked if he wanted to continue to visit us. He was saying that he was going to be busy and would have no time to spend with me and my sister. My mom was furious and started to yell at him in Navajo. Me and my sister just looked at each other and guessed she was telling him to get his crap together and get to know the two of us because we are about to enter high school. Gerald looked upset and sad and he said his goodbye and left. We were confused but my mom told us to get in the car and that she would take us back home. In the car ride back home, she told us that she never held us back from him and never held him back from seeing us. She was happy that we asked about our dad and got to see him. Me and my sister were happy we got to meet our dad for about two hours out of the 14 years. We never heard or seen Gerald ever sense then and never asked another question about him.
Geraldlynn Notah is from Moriarty, New Mexico and has been at New Mexico Military Institute for three years. She enjoys to hike, run, play classical guitar, take care of her two little brothers, and sports. Notah is one of the few Navajo cadets that attend NMMI and as she excels at New Mexico Military Institute she graduates in May 2020. Notah will study to become a Chiropractor and work with athletes in the state of New Mexico. Her dreams is to play college basketball at Arizona State University and to travel as much as she can.